Being different, yet the same.

The reason I started blogging, except for that I missed to write is that at I currently live in a place where the goth subculture doesn’t exist at all and thought that I could get some inspiration online, through blogs and videos, hopefully participate and find some new friends. But instead I was overwhelmed with all these tutorials, rules and wars on what is or isn’t goth and felt…uneasy. It used to be about being yourself, about music, books, movies and showing your creativity. Now it seems like you should look and think exactly the same.

Maybe the problem isn’t the new kids, maybe it is that we’re not talking about acceptance enough? All people that find goth (or any subculture) these days will have two worlds to relate to, even though they are highly connected to each other. First, it’s the IRL and second, it’s the online life most of  us have to a greater or lesser extent where you can choose how your lifestyle and personality should look like.

In real life, everyone has to interact with all sorts of people. They are family, friends, co-workers, people who stand in line for the bus, anyone really, and the society is built upon rules and cultural conformity to make us feel safe and secure. All of us, no matter how extreme and unconventional we feel, coexist with all the norms and structures IRL and in many ways they form what the subculture is too, since it tends to break away from cultural and sometimes social standards.

But the internet is different. You can actually filter the web to fit your exact wishes and here’s where I believe the big change has happened. Online it’s easy to divide, you simply find whatever style or person you can relate to and for a lot of people, especially younger ones, you want to find your click where you can feel secure and at home. Looking similar is part of that safety and liking the same things as well, add some of the online magic that is internet shopping, optimizing search engines and companies have a whole new market to dig into. Combine it with that youtube fame and we have a global explosion of kids breaking the norm but still look exactly the same.

Fitting in, even while standing out, is crucial for a lot of teenagers and the internet allows to create your own set of rules away from IRL structure, probably already formed by someone else online which makes for an accessible but a very repetitious subculture. It also creates a competition where the “truest goths” wear extreme makeup 24/7 365 days a year, always look their most extreme, always doing alternative things. Any normality is filtered away and so is the reality of being human with all sorts of personalities, interests and friends. No wonder it’s all about the outside when it’s all we see on our screens. I don’t think it’s a surprise that the online life of the subculture has evolved into something commercial, somewhat detaching itself from literature, music and the outside world since we don’t really seem to discuss it in an accepting or inviting manor.

I didn’t have all those millions watching me evolve into what I am today and can’t begin to imagine the pressure it brings in a lot of the baby bats but if I had, I sure as hell would’ve wanted to look just as cool as all the other goths online, doing what they’re doing.


This rambling was inspired of a blog post by Little Corp Goth Girl.


10 Replies to “Being different, yet the same.”

  1. Hi! I saw your comment on Sylvie’s blog and I had to check out your take too, because it’s a subject that has been bothering me for a while. I agree with everything you said, it’s like a contest out there with all these cool online goths outgothing each other. Meanwhile, I have no frame of reference in real life – I don’t know any alternative people in my country, let alone my city. I have been thinking of starting a life/fashion blog of my own too and sharing my way of doing it. If only I liked writing as much as I do reading!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi! If you ever feel like starting that kind of blog, I’d be happy to read it. I don’t know where you’re from but I can relate to not having an alternative scene around. Here in Sweden, it mainly exists in the bigger cities, I live in a coastal small town in the middle of nowhere and find most of my inspiration online and in the few regular stores we have here. I wish there could be less of a competition between people online and more about sharing ideas so that’s what I’m trying to do with my blog =)


      1. Well, I live in Eastern Europe. It’s a capital city but many people are still stuck in the Soviet Union, creative looks are frowned upon. I do like what you’re doing here, so thanks for the kind words, I’ll lurk around and eventually if I open my blog you’ll be among the first to know (^^)~

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I can understand that it get a lot more difficult to be yourself when the social/cultural gap gets that big. You’re so welcome to read, it makes me really happy that someone reads it and hopefully likes it too!


  2. Really glad you wrote this. I grew up in London UK a great place to be a Goth, but then moved to Texas which weirdly USED to have a huge Goth scene but now does not. My friend and I even traveled to NY to see the Goth scene only to be disappointed. It is my hope that the Goth scene returns, but until it does, we can stay in touch and relate. Thanks for existing, you make the world a better place. Goth forever. The most beautiful of people.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve always thought a lot of the issue came from when the sub-culture partially started to hit the mainstream… Tons of newcomers flocked to the scene thinking it was more about a certain image and fashion instead of the music, creativity and individuality it had started with. While it did bring many new people into the scene, it also seemed like “Goth” in most places began to lose its own identity in a lot of ways. At least that’s my theory 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. In Sweden, except for around the 3 largest cities, there is no scene to talk about which is sad. But I understand (and can see some of it for myself online) that there is a boom in goth appearance and that it of course has an impact on the subculture and the identity of it. But is it really sticking?

      I feel as if we should be more inviting to newcomers, since there is such a pressure from kids their own age to look the part, “we” should know better and discuss what we love about the subculture, what have made us stick to it and not just say “No, you can’t like that if you’re gonna be goth”.

      Since a lot of the younger crowds hang out online, I think they have very little connection to older people within the subculture and their view on what’s goth is colored by that experience. Something people in my age at least (soon to be 30) never really went through.


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